Right now, you are shaking your head at the ridiculous title. Reading pet peeves? Ha! Reading is awesome! Why would I ever have any pet peeves? But as it turns out, you do. You do have that one thing you can’t stand to find in books, that one thing the world would be better without, that one thing you feel like tearing into pieces and slapping it silly. I do, too. In fact, I have seven.
#1: Beginning Your Book on Page 230,039,034
When some unknown genius invented page numbers, the benefits were many and included a) saving pages without a bookmark and b) knowing how many pages you have read. Of course, what if the first page – the actual first page of your first chapter or prologue, where characters actually do things – is numbered page 2?* You would be on page two, but you’ve actually only read one page. So what would you say if someone asked you how many pages you’ve read? Two, or one?
#2: Mentioning Characters I Can’t Remember
There is a general rule of thumb when it comes to writing characters, and it is that if a character goes 50 pages without being mentioned, they’re not of the the main or supporting characters and generally very forgettable. Most times, that’s fine. But when the character suddenly gets mentioned after being gone for half the book? You have to search your memory long and hard to find their significance in the plot.
Alternatively, this is also true when you call a important character a name they have only been called once or twice. I just finished reading a book where the main character’s mom, a fairly minor character, is introduced by her first name. As the book progresses, however, the book, narrated in first person, refers to her as ‘Mom’ or ‘my mom’. Then, out of the blue, the main character calls her mother by her first name again. It was not only incredibly disorienting, but also a sign of messy writing.
#3: ‘Supporting Characters’ Magically Disappear
So it turns out that Harbinger of Death was an interesting supporting character, but you’ve thought of new characters you want to add. And since you don’t exactly want the book to end up weighing a thousand pounds, you decide to very…discreetly…cut H.o.D.’s status as Important Supporting Character, usually by death or a Really Really Stupid Argument that makes H.o.D. ‘break up’ with the main character. This is usually resolved by the end of the book, just in time to bring H.o.D. back from the deep hell of Plot Irrelevancy!
#4: Insta-Love
Let’s face it: building a complicated, nuanced romantic relationship between your two characters is not easy. They’ve had to struggle through endless perils and have faced insurmountable challenges. They’ve had to come to terms with their growing feelings for each other, perhaps even their biggest challenge, because love doesn’t just spontaneously happen or pop out of thin air, right?
Lately, however, there has been a growing trend where the romantic interests don’t have a neat little curve. They just meet, they talk, and they feel ‘drawn to each other’ (which is, by the way, a phrase straight off half of your average romance-books-disguised-as-fantasy.) This does, of course, take less effort on the author’s part, but in real life, there’s a word for people who are immediately infatuated with the people they’ve just met and barely know. Stalkers.
#5: Withholding Important Information
Ok, no, that’s not what I meant. If you are deliberately withholding information to create mystery, continue. The type of withholding information I’m talking about here is the kind that many writers don’t even know they are doing. Say you are writing a scene where two characters hang out at the park. Normally, people go to the park during the day, so readers will automatically picture friends in a park during the daytime regardless of whether you explicitly say it or not. But then, right in the middle of the scene, you mention the moon being pearly white. Now the reader has to change their mental image of the scene, making them disoriented. All in all, it is best to put things that may mislead or cause confusion in the beginning.
#6: No Variety of Relationships
Take a look outside. Observe how people interact. Do friends give each other kisses on the lips? Do teachers kick their students in the shins when they’re being annoying? No, of course not. That’s because there are countless different ways to love and care for and hate someone. Now take a look at your book. Do you notice how the protagonist only has guy friends? Do you notice how your protagonists have caring parents and yet, they never talk to them? There is no one type of relationship. Vary the people your characters interact with, vary the feelings they get and the decisions they make about the people around them.
#7: The Big, Bad Typo
Few things make my blood boil. Among those things are: cold and soggy pancakes, incorrect use of they’re there and their, and, yes, typos. I’ve always been somewhat of a Grammar Nazi, so when a book that’s been through a professional writer, agent, and editor, and probably a publishing house as well is still flawed…you just have to sit there and contemplate your life decisions leading up to this point and stare at the typo hoping that somehow it will disappear by sheer force of will. One grammar or spelling error may not deter someone from finishing the book, but it will leave a bitter taste in their mouth. (Or maybe that’s just me.)
Damn, now everyone thinks I’m an insufferable, unpleasant person. I swear on my books and my piano and my violin that I’m not, and I don’t take swearing like that lightly. So, do you have any bookish pet peeves? Do you actually like any of my pet peeves? Have you read any books with one or more of my peeves? Comment below!
*Usually because there is a page with quotes or the title of the part of the book if your book has parts before the ‘actual’ first page.
One thought on “Top 7 Reader Pet Peeves”